Wednesday, March 16, 2011


We plan and design and build our world
But everything bursts if nature unfurls.
Homes, schools, offices and streets
Everything hard built Nature easily deletes.

It swipes things out just on a whim
Even its creatures living within.
So many tragedies just in one day
And so many that follow without delay.

What is there to do? How to react?
So little we had was left intact.
But we don’t lose hope although so much is lost
We plan and design and protect at all cost.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Something Missing

        I miss high school. Many people apparently do not miss it, but I do. Certainly, this feeling manifests today, because a friend from that time was visiting me for a while. Nevertheless, I have to think back often, longing especially for all the time I had back then. Wasn't it fantastic in how many activities one could engage? Sports, hobbies, friends. How many different subjects one was acquainted with? Presently, I am so specialized and experience that I even unlearned skills that I used to be good at. Sure, I am in a phase of my life, in which I attempt to enrich my everyday life with new experiences, but I cannot help the guilty feeling that these come with the cost of me not being an excellent postdoc.
        Apart from the diversity, I miss the time that I had to be with friends. Often I am even too tired to see my friend that lives next door, to write an email or even just to comment on a facebook post. So it comes that I got used to start my conversations with apologies and I despise it. 
      Now I am here in this perfect place for a scientist, which is also so rich and beautiful in its nature and beyond that I do not have any commitments. Still, I feel so unsatisfied, because I am to weak to decide for one or the other. My boss recently said, one probably does not have a balanced day, a balanced week or a balanced year, but one can have a balanced life. I fear, she is as so often right, unfortunately it is a long way to feel that satisfaction. Too long for my melancholic character.
         Apparently it is a time in my life to choose to do one thing right. I am not sure, where to find the energy for it. Back in high school it was easy, I just did what I had to do. I wish I could be like back then. I miss it.